Tending to the Shadow: EMDR, Parts-Work, and the Path of Integration
We all carry shadow aspects within us—hidden layers of our being that are often shaped by limiting beliefs. Sometimes, our shadow even holds positive qualities that we were taught to repress in order to feel safe.
Shadow work is the practice of bringing these unconscious parts of ourselves into awareness, treating them with the love, respect, and tenderness they were never shown.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
— Carl Jung
To feel whole, we must acknowledge the parts of ourselves we’ve deemed “unwanted” or “unloved.” When we embrace our shadow, we reclaim responsibility for our lives and how we move through each day.
Many aspects of our shadow stem from childhood wounds, traumatic experiences, and the ways we learned to survive. Carl Jung describes the shadow as the hidden part of our psyche—the source of unconscious thoughts, fears, and behaviors. It holds unresolved emotions, inner conflicts, unexpressed desires, and unmet needs.
How did we learn to receive love and acceptance as children? How did we adapt to avoid rejection? The parts of us that were silenced or shamed in order to belong became our shadow.
Paradoxically, when the fear of abandonment or rejection is high, we struggle to form authentic connections. We hide the very aspects of ourselves that, if embraced, could lead us to the belonging we crave.
This is why EMDR, parts-work, and somatic healing are often forms of shadow work. EMDR, for instance, helps us notice patterns we want to shift, access the memories that shape them, and identify the core belief attached to them—beliefs like "I am not enough," "I am alone," or "I am a failure." Even when we know these aren’t true, they can be deeply embedded in our nervous system, driving our lives from beneath the surface.
Reprogramming begins with curiosity—where did these beliefs originate? How can we offer those wounded parts the care they never received? A key part of EMDR is also imagining what we’d rather believe: "I am safe." "I am whole." "I am lovable." Even if an old belief lingers in the body, these new affirmations can grow strong enough to hold and tend to the parts that feel unworthy.
Our shadow can express itself in many ways—jealousy, addiction, anxiety, depression, codependency, self-sabotage, power struggles, procrastination, scarcity, resentment, rage, bitterness—the list goes on. To identify our shadow, we can notice what triggers discomfort: our judgments of others, the comparisons we make, the patterns we repeat, the emotions that feel sticky, dark, or heavy.
EMDR, parts-work, and somatic healing help us accept and honor our shadow, allowing us to integrate its energy in a way that serves us. They help us tend to these parts, befriend them, and transform the way we relate to ourselves.
Ultimately, trauma work is shadow work—and also light work. It is the process of knowing ourselves deeply enough to weave our stories into something whole. When we do this, we open the door to healing, connection, and joy.